Divorce Support You Should Not Do Without
Lost. Scared. Lonely. Shaken. Sad. Angry. Bitter. Relieved. Hopeful. These are just some of the stops along with the emotional roller coaster that is divorce. Divorce is not anything anyone should have to endure alone. It’s so common now that tons of resources are available to help you survive the process with some level of dignity.
One resource you should be leery about relying too heavily on is friends and family. Their advice is often misguided, uninformed, and downright damaging to your ability to think straight. They’re great for a shoulder to lean on, and to remind you that you are loved. You will need some of this, but do your best to get advice from objective professionals and not biased family and friends. You’ll come out better for it.
Resources I think everyone needs during the process, and for at least a little while after include:
A Good Therapist or Counselor – There is just so much emotional trauma caused by divorce that you really need to talk it through with a qualified professional. They can help you explore your new role, so you can get clear about your goals for the next phase of your life. This can help you as you begin to form quality new relationships.
Non-Profits – Almost every community in the country has a non-profit that offers divorce support resources. Check for those in your local area.
CDFA™ (Certified Divorce Financial Analyst™) or Financial Planner – The most common and paralyzing fear nearly everyone feels in divorce is “Will I be ok financially?” It’s inevitable. But before you agree to any settlement, you need a second set of eyes to take a detailed look at it. By taking that step along with reviewing financial projections, you will know what you’re looking at immediately post-divorce and many years down the road. Find a CDFA™ - a professional who is trained specifically in the finances of divorce – by visiting institutedfa.com.
The Internet – Divorce has become big business. New resource sites pop up every day offering a wealth of free information, downloads, blogs, referrals, directories, etc. It can be somewhat overwhelming, so see what you connect with and leave the rest. Go slow and be kind to yourself.
Meetup.com is a resource for local divorce support groups. Attending a few is a good idea, but don’t let yourself sink in for too long. Recovery is supposed to be about getting better, and many people stay stuck in grieving and never move on. Find a support group to help you as you travel through the process.
This is going to be a challenging time in your life. Ultimately, you will be stronger, happier, and ok – as long as you choose to. Use resources available to you to make good decisions for yourself. Today truly … is the first day of the rest of your life.